Opinion: You might be underestimating your kids' français

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When it comes to our kids’ education, the stakes feel high. Guiding them through school in a language you don’t speak at home adds another layer of anxiety. But, as my kids assured me during their first week at a new French school, “This isn’t High School Musical. There’s no drama — we’re fine.” It was the reality check I needed. 

Their bus was due at the corner in one hour, and I couldn’t sit still. I gave up trying to work. Instead, I paced back and forth through the house, desperate to know: How was their first day? What did they think of their teachers? How was lunch? Who did they meet? 

They hopped off the afternoon bus with the same big smiles that greeted me years ago after their first day at garderie, only now with orthodontics. 

After 20 minutes of rapid-fire questions, I asked about my biggest worry: “How was French?”

As a completely unbiased and totally rational mother (who obviously knows her children are brilliant), my greatest fear is that their light will dim in French school — that teachers and peers won’t see their brilliance because they’re not perfectly fluent. 

“We didn’t have French today,” she replied. 

“Not French class,” I said, trying to clarify. “I mean being in French all day.” 

Visibly confused by the question, she said it was fine. A regular day. No biggie. Normal. 

I take francisation classes two nights a week. I spend three hours each session conjugating verbs, struggling with les participes passés irreguliers, and doing my best to string together conversations with classmates. I enjoy it, but for 180 minutes, I’m also filled with fear — boxed inside my normally chatty self. And that’s just learning French, not learning in French, as my kids have done full-time for the last year.  

My daughter’s response to what I thought was a valid question showed me I might be projecting my own fears onto her and her brother’s experience. I was underestimating them. 

Sometimes we want to wrap our kids in a bubble to protect them from the world and the things that trigger our own anxieties. We closely watch their chest rise and fall as they nap as infants, then worry about screen time, friendships and their safety as they venture away from home. But the truth is, kids are often better prepared to lead their own lives than we give them credit for. 

So to other anglo and immigrant parents raising children with French as a second (or third) language — take a deep breath. Your kids might just surprise you with how much they can handle. 

Take a cue from my son. This isn’t High School Musical — it’s real life. And in real life, they’re doing just fine. 

Arron Neal is an American expat, communications strategist, and writer. She is raising two bilingual kids on the South Shore.

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